"When life gave me lemons, I took the master cleanse." The Grouch

Some people think that running long distances is crazy. I do too. It's completely irrational with current studies on the toll it takes on your body. Not to mention, modern modes of transportation are so much more convenient! Say - cars, buses, subways, even pedicabs. So, why run?

It started for me as a way to sleep at night. There was a time this past winter when I was so low and dark, not even the whitest snowfall could rouse me from my bleak state of mind. I was very ill following New Years with a charming virus called The Swine Flu. Twenty pounds fell from my frame and was replaced with about twenty pounds of insecurities.  Every day I would be on the verge of tears, glancing in the mirror before hopping in the shower - a knife in my heart because I was so thin - unrecognizable to my own eyes. The disconnect between perception of self and reality was so scary. My illness also brought insomnia, I believe because of the mental fixation I had with my self-image, the reaction my friends had to this disarming change in my physique and how out of control I felt. This frail body infected my mind in so many ways. I had to find a way to recapture me.

Around that time, my number was selected in the lottery for the New York Half Marathon (March 14, 2010). I started slowly by getting up early to run - thinking hopefully it would help me sleep at night. As soon as I began feeling better and stronger, I threw myself full gear into training. When I initially signed up, I declared my pace: 10 minutes per mile. As I started training and feeling healthier, I began pushing myself - sprinting hills, interval training, paying attention to what I ate. Soon, I was determined to run the half in under 8 minute miles. I didn't know if I could accomplish that time OR how I would feel if I failed. It was my first race. 

At the mile 10 marker, I turned from 42nd street onto the Henry Hudson Highway toward the financial district and felt like dying - 3 more miles felt like an ETERNITY. I crossed the finish line in one piece, thinking "How do people run a full marathon? I almost died finishing a half." 

All of the training plus mental and physical self-barrading to push through and finish was worth it for the elation I felt whilst sitting at Bubby's on Hudson (REALLY GOOD FOOD). The times came in. I finished in just under 8 minute miles. 

I'd never been so proud of myself as in that moment. Achieving the goal was my own victory over the demons that had haunted me for those months. Running for me had become and still is the master cleanse. My peace of mind. 

Thanks for reading!